Tuesday, June 1, 2010

This is Where the Time has Gone

Honestly I haven't felt much like blogging. The weather has been too intoxicating to be sitting at my computer for hours upon hours (because I do more than just blog when I decide to start up this old thing--the computer, not me). Perhaps it's because I have more personal [good] news than art news and I try not to get too "dear diary" in here. It's not like I haven't been sitting, just not at my computer, haha. My crafting/work table is in front of my living room windows, so I have great lighting, fresh air, etc. Now with the Netflix streaming into the Wii I can have many options of inspiring background noise (two words: DARK SHADOWS)! Also something to help me be more creative/productive is this week (starting yesterday) I will go dry. Not one drop of alcohol. (what was that statement about no "dear diary" entries?) Ironically enough my boyfriend and I went to my favourite bar (Stocks & Blondes) yesterday to inquire if they serve non-alcoholic beer (i.e: O'Douls) but no luck. So we ate dinner there instead :) I hear you're supposed to lose weight when you stop drinking, but I don't think it works if you substitute drinks with food!

So, what is happening in a more art wise way? I had another gallery show at 1901, so I have more paintings to show off. In this show I did more of a creature feature. I did end up repeating "Feed The Birds" merely because it fit into the theme. The two paintings in a previous post, "Austin" & my Untitled Frozen Ghosty, were part of the show. Here are their companions:


She is a drawing I am constantly working with and have always wanted as a painting. When I first created her she was to be part of an on-going series of illustrations, but I never got around to it. However, I've been told by a couple of people that I should make a cohesive collection of paintings/illustrations with this theme/style.

Untitled Fright

A painting that was first featured in Gothic Art Chicago's Kilter Magazine. And this actually sold at the show to a fellow artist (http://www.judgehydrogen.com/)


He's kind of this lab working, child molesting creature. I almost want to keep working on this. Perhaps make the background more dirty and add a few more features to his face.


Basically an emotive self-portrait (if that's the correct term). I was having trouble with her mouth when my boyfriend suggested having her mouth stapled or sewn shut. Which automatically reminded me of a Tales From the Darkside episode. It featured an obese woman who was trying, to no avail, to lose weight. Her last attempt ended in her hallucinating that food felt pain and were talking/living creatures so she couldn't bear to eat anything. The episode ended in her sewing her mouth shut. However my version of Cure is more of an alcohol statement, as you an see my lady is a bit yellow from liver failure :P


This is a work in progress, but I featured it anyhow. I also have a couple of other ideas for this particular subject so I think it'll end up being a great series to work on. This is based off a crack in the subway that I took a picture of and this is what my Rorschach interpretation is. Actually, alot of my creature paintings are based off of spots/stains/cracks/wall paper designs where I do a Rorschach-esque analysis and see all of these weird images.

As usual some of these are on sale at my Etsy shop, so by all means check it out. They are also up on Deviant Art if you'd merely like a print. http://eraserhappy.etsy.com/

There should be more updates sooner than later. I have a craft faire at The 1901 Gallery/Theatre this Sunday (June 6th) from 3:00pm-8:00pm. (1901 W. Belmont, entrance at Wolcott) I'll be featuring some new products. Jewelry, charms, keychains, buttons, etc.

Comments are always welcome. Take care everyone.

Friday, April 16, 2010

I Need to Spend More Time on my Back!

This is very unrelated to art, but I'll try to add a little something at the end. Yesterday I went to the chiropractor to get the results of my x-rays. The results were anything but positive. My spine is curvy, but not in a sexy way. My hip is tilted which leads to the curve in my lower spine. This is causing my spine to push into my reproductive organs, thus causing all the horrible issues I have with my monthly menstruation. I have a slight curve in the upper section as well. My neck is by far the worse part. It's a bit horrifying to see my x-ray compared to an x-ray of what my neck is supposed to look like. A normal neck is supposed to be curved. The top is at, I think, a 29 degree angle; mine is at an 8 degree angle. The lower part is, again I think, at a 45 degree angle; mine is at 9 degrees. That's quite a difference. Here's (my best illustration ever) a quick drawing of what I speak of:

I have to go three times a week for adjustments and strengthening/corrective exercises. There is alot of money being sunk into this (my insurance is crap and only wanted to pay for 6 out of the 36 visits), and thus I'm making a few lifestyle changes. Not only that, but I'm tired of feeling like shit. My back & neck are constant bothers in my everyday living, and because I've ignored it I'm in really bad shape and it's going to take years upon years to correct the damage I've done. My life is finally something I can be happy with, something I'm so proud of, and if I'm going to enjoy my accomplishments and keep making strides, I want to do it in good health. I've been a hard ass about life; nothing bothers me, I can handle it, if my body doesn't like it then it can shut down and die...etc. I've never riddled my body with narcotics, but I have put alot of alcohol and caffeine in it and I've treated it like a punching bag. I'm not saying that I'm going dry & switching to decaf and that I'm not going to be a hard worker; I'm just going to cut back and realize I even have limits. It's not the Batman way, but it'll have to do. I will say it is absolutely killing me to not crack my own neck! I'm afraid if I do it'll undo the adjustment I had yesterday. I am very dedicated to this. I hate sleeping on my back (I'm a side sleeper) but I tried last night. I woke up a few times wanting to turn over, but as usual I bullied my body :)

I want to be able to paint and draw without having to take numerous breaks by laying on my back because of the burning pain. It'd be nice to cook a meal without having to put IcyHot (am I allowed to name a brand?) on afterwords. I would love to have normal cramps instead of ones that cause me to be doubled over in pain; a period that doesn't cause nausea and fever, (However, I would still like to receive the enlarged breasts).

So here I go on the road to recovery. I'm sure there will be some art work on the way that is inspired by my emotions and experiences.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

New Paintings

I finished these two paintings the other night. There's a third, but I'm not as excited about it as these two. Both are 5x7 inches and made using acrylic, crafting/distressing paint. They are both based off a series of sketches I had from my monster/creature series. I did these sketches years ago, and this is the first time I've attempted giving them life by adding texture and colour. Rather than just being smudgy graphite drawings from my imagination, and being crowded with other creatures this gives them personalities, stories; reasons they exist. I've included the sketches before the paintings. As you can see their recent incarnations are completely different (at least in my eyes) then their original! Also, if you're interested the prints are available via my Deviant Art page. The links are located in the descriptions underneath the paintings, or you can just head on over to my DA page (link will be at the bottom of this post).

So, this is Austin. For years I never saw him as this brown furry creature, but I have always noticed an intelligence to him. For me he is donning a lab apron--I think knowledge is his best friend (perhaps his only). Not that he isn't a great "guy" but he's quiet, matter of fact, and would rather make time for his scientific endeavours than to hang out at the pub with friends. However, I see him as a sort of bohemian. He can be artist/creative and unconventional. I assume the "feelers" on top his head are receptors--acting as antennae, and this how he's able to absorb and retain his knowledge.

Unfortunately this frozen creature hasn't given me a name yet. Perhaps the being encased in layers of ice in a dark tundra has made it difficult to communicate. I've joked how this is an animal self-portrait because I'm cold all the time! I don't actually think that, but I can empathize with this fellow. As far as the transition from sketch to painting goes, I didn't see this creature as frozen, or a ghost, until I prepped the canvas. I originally sketched it on a white canvas, and then painted the background black. That's where the idea of it being a spirit came in. I tried giving it a bit of a glowing aura affect, but that wasn't working for me or for the creature. I was painting it blue and just decided to go from there--adding different hues of white and blue and thus it became frozen. Some day I'll be able to break through that icy exterior and find out who this creature was. (http://www.deviantart.com/print/11636798/?utm_source=DA&utm_medium=DP&utm_campaign=DA_DP_BuyThisPrint-Bottom_121009&utm_content=BuyThisPrint-Bottom)

There is my last couple of days worth of work. I have alot of other canvases to smatter with my mind (and paint). So, expect some more updates sooner rather than later. Today I am excited to go see a chiropractor. Hunched over a table painting all day does not do wonders for my back. If you'd like to take a gander at my Deviant Art Page please visit here: http://eraserhappy.deviantart.com/

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

1901 Art Show

I'm a bit tardy on posting about my first gallery show. The day job has been a bit hectic and I had lots of socializing to do afterwards--my birthday & boyfriend's family gatherings. I've also been feeling ill lately--not sure what it's all about, but I'd like to get over it soon. Anyway...
The first thing anyone asks if I sold anything. I did sell a copy of my Fetish Paper Dolls! That always brings a huge smile to my face. I didn't sell any paintings, but received some great praise (from strangers and friends alike). Merely, I was happy and honoured to be there, and to be showing with some amazing talent!
I also felt extremely happy that some of my friends showed up, and not only that, but they purchased from other artists! It was a fabulous time, great entertainment (live performances), comrades, art...I could not have asked for a better first show!
Here is a picture of me with my work (taken by Vine):

I'm selling the four small paintings on Etsy: http://www.etsy.com/shop/Eraserhappy
and here is a close up of the large acrylic

I have a fascination with dead animals, especially birds. I keep a photographic journal of road kill or deceased animals/insects I find lying about. Two of the small paintings (Pigeon & Nevermore) are based on some pictures I've taken. The other two (Goliath & Golden Orb Weaver) are based on two spiders, the paintings are named after them, that have been known to kill & consume birds. The large acrylic was just some idea I had floating around. It's a skinless part woman, part vulture that is not only consuming her own flesh but is feeding the young skeleton ducks that are her company in this deep sewer-esque underground.

Friday, March 12, 2010

First Gallery Show!

This weekend is a huge starting point for me. My friend is part owner of the Nineteen Hundred and One art gallery here in Chicago, and she asked if I'd be able to show something in this months exhibit. I'm very excited and will be updating about the show this weekend. If you can come out see all of the awesome talent that will be there Friday & Saturday. The live performances are different for each night.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Gothic Craft Faire

The Nineteen Hundred & One Gallery/Theatre Presents:
The March Craft Fairy
A Monthly Gothic Arts & Crafts Faire
the 1st Sunday of every month
Sunday, March 7, 2010
1901 W. Belmont Ave. (entrance on Wolcott), Chicago
Over 15 of Chicago's Gothic Crafters & Artists,
Jewelry, Candles & Incense, Dolls & Toys,
Hats & Parasols..., Baked goods, and other Unique items.
Coffee, Refreshments & More!
All Ages
$1 Donation
and find us on facebook: the nineteen hundred & one gallery/theatre

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


I was hoping to never get "personal" on this blog, but I do feel that sometimes one has to vent or discuss where they are coming from. Seeing as how I cannot afford regular ol' therapy, I've been thinking about doing some art (self) therapy. Lately I haven't really been doing art for myself or I've been crafting instead of drawing/painting. I do have a few events coming up in March so I'm not sure when I'll have time to start on this art therapy venture, but I feel it needs to be soon. The last few weeks I've been getting e-mails about people searching me on-line; these people are blood-related. I'm completely estranged from every relative and I find this disgusting that they're looking me up on-line. It's bad enough I had a contact on Facebook and hadn't realized (due to my own negligence) that this was a person who is friends with the woman who gave birth to me. It's not as if I have anything to hide or that I'm doing unsavoury activities and posting deplorable pictures. Actually my Facebook is pretty boring. I post a witty status update once in awhile (I'm not a fan of those updates that talk about taking the dog for a walk and what I'm making for dinner...who cares?! But that's a different rant and has no merit here). I try to promote cool events/places--ones I'm interested in going to or ones that I'm part of. I don't usually post pictures of myself--mainly photos of things I'm working on or food I cook, (cooking is a passion of mine). My family believes I'm this con-artist drug-crazed lunatic. This couldn't be further from the truth and if anything my Facebook is proof that my life isn't that dramatic! I can barely afford student loans, art supplies, living in an apt., etc. let alone support some drug habit.
So, if I don't have anything to hide, why should it bother me? Why should it bother me that these people have nothing better to do than obsess about where I am, what I'm doing, etc.? It bothers me because my life is f-ing amazing without them. I am devoid of all the negative energy that surrounds those people. At first I thought about trying to stay in contact with my Grandmother since she is the one person that I can say I truly cared about (dead company excluded, and my Aunt Sue and her children were pretty cool...), and then I thought forget it. I didn't want to be sucked into another drama of mother's. I'm sure it would be a re-run of her mother picking someone over her ("once again" as was one of her favourite sayings as the main victim in their soap opera riddled family). Mother can have the family. I don't want it. I don't want the misery wallowing, the back stabbing, the hypocritical/contradictory jabber that comes with these people. Playing games and getting caught up in all that b.s. is destructive; it's pure poison. I've been detoxing the 20-ish years of craziness. I'll never be fully rid of it all. I've got some issues to work out, I have a few personality flaws to curb because of the way I was brought up and the way I saw people treating each other. There never seemed to be true love...it's the convenience of a person that gets their affection. Once someone turns the tables, once someone needs you rather than you needing them, you're nothing more than a nuisance. You're trash, you're a hot potato, you become something to control (you need them so you have to abide by their rules), you become another thing to bitch about--a pro to these people. So that's the only joy you bring them is to be able to complain about your presence, or to give them fodder for a grand tale to spin. They're more than happy to believe the "con-artist, drug-riddled lunatic" story about me. I mean, who wouldn't believe it?! The gothic, eccentric artist, quiet/living in her head, obsessed with morbidity, outlandish girl who came from small town MI and then moved to the big scary city. She got all caught up in fast living, hard partying, living with reckless abandon and befriending people who do drugs, drink, and have alternative lifestyles! Please...if only my first few years of Chicago, or even now, were that dramatic! I know people who do drugs, I know people who drink A LOT, and I have friends with alternative lifestyles. I also know people who are in rehab, who don't drink, who don't do drugs, who are very conservative...I know conservative people who excessively drink and/or do drugs. I know "alternative" people who don't drink or do drugs. Personally, I don't even like to take Tylenol let alone take recreational drugs. I would also like to know with what money I'm supposed to be getting drugs. I used to drink a lot, and now I sometimes have a drink with my dinner or if I'm relaxing watching a movie at home and I drink socially when I can afford it. My point is, I'm doing well. Actually, I'm doing more than well, I am fortunate, blessed, and in a word, happy. I have a "day" job, I have an artistic talent that gives me hopes and dreams, I have pretty cool friends and acquaintances, an awesome boyfriend that has given me love and support that I never knew could exist within someone, a roof over my head, my bf's family who are the most loving and sincere people--I'm so proud to be accepted by them, and I hope that all of this continues. I'm bothered because the family I came from loves vengeance, they love misery, they love games, they love bringing others down in order to feel better about themselves. They love brushing off that things don't bother them by belittling and trying to snuff out someone's light. They love to pin their own faults on others, they love to take how they're feeling-their reality, and twist it to seem as if the other person is feeling or reacting in that way. It's a fantastic mind-f__k; brilliant really. I just don't want their toxic sewage spilling into this Eden I have come upon. I just want them to leave me alone. What I'm doing with my life is of no concern to them (as long as my student loans are being paid--a member of my family is a co-signer), and I would appreciate not being "followed" on-line. They don't exist in my present world and I don't want them existing in my future world. Keep your dilemma's; issues; toxicities to yourselves. I don't care what they're doing, social networking sites they belong to...because all it brings me is sickness. If I cared it would pull me into a darkness I don't want to be part of. I'm living my life for myself and for those around me who sincerely love each other and have allowed me into their lives. I have moved on, (or at least I'm doing my best to head forward), and I wish they would too.
So, back to art, as that is what this blog is about. After March I hope to start making a series of paintings and collages of all this tension I have from my past. I think it'll be an amazing healing ritual. I hope it will give me some sort of peace/release. I only expressed part of my confusion, anger, revulsion, etc. to a couple of close friends and haven't really gotten to say or exhibit my thought process whole-heartedly. I didn't want to be consumed or wallow--I wanted to make a clean break and really start living. I didn't want to have all of my feelings and my personal issues out in the open and I didn't want it to seem like I was attacking anyone, that I was blaming anyone, or that I was trying to get sympathy from people. My pieces will depict how I feel/felt; realizations I've come to about my past; the world I lived in unveiling itself for the twisted reality it really was. I know that my above statements seem as if I'm verbally attacking these people, but it really is the reality that I've come to know about them. There are damaging people in this world and some (not every single member, of course) belong to that family. The thing is they've been able to spread lies, use vulgarity towards me, play the victim card, etc. and I've been fine to let them sit and immerse themselves in all of their nonsense. I've been able to not really think about it all that much (I'm too busy to give it a whole lot of attention), but when it's thrown in my face, when it's blatantly brought up to me and it's clear that after a year they're still trying to seep into my world...I can't just suppress my thoughts/feelings anymore. I was doing so out of some conviction. That speaking about how I see the family and knowing how they work and knowing that they follow me on-line was going to somehow ruin everything I've worked for. Who knows...maybe it will, but it hasn't helped either. Me living in my corner of the world and trying to exist without acknowledging their presences in the universe hasn't stopped them from trying to "break in". It hasn't stopped them from sending out their negativity. I'm not doing this to shove anything in anyone's face or to give them satisfaction that I've acknowledged what they've been doing and that it bothers me. I'm not doing this to add detriment to anyone's character. I'm doing this for me and my stability. In fact, this has made me feel a bit better. I know it's a bit all over the place, ranty/tangenty, but I was trying to make a point about the up-coming art project I'll have going on. I'm much better at manifesting my thoughts/feelings through pictures or carefully crafted letters. However, I hope you've bared with me and will continue the journey along my virtual side. I'm slowly realizing it's okay to be human and to have moments where you just need to free form; to not have everything so organized and constructed.
Well, I have a last minute article to write for Kilter Magazine (shameless plug) http://www.kiltermagazine.org/ and some art to get done for the upcoming 1901 art exhibit http://www.myspace.com/thenineteenhundredandone