I Touch the Fire and it Freezes Me

I abhor Winter. Let me rephrase that: I hate Winter in certain locations of the planet; namely where it’s f-ing cold. The problem is I have a circulatory disorder, Raynaud’s (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raynaud%27s_phenomenon [quite patriotic, isn't it?]), and it’s not merely uncomfortable but can be quite painful. It’s also a tad scary–the thought of (my own) amputation is not a pleasant one. I can hold onto a steaming cup of liquid without feeling that it’s burning me. For someone who works with their hands this is a living nightmare. My hands are usually numb/tingling which makes drawing and painting difficult. This doesn’t just physically affect me, there are mental afflictions. This year has been pretty bad–I feel as if I’m developing a phobia of being cold. The idea of freezing has gone beyond not wanting to be uncomfortable; it has reached a level to where I will not leave my home for the fear of my body reacting negatively to cold and mentally feeling miserable due to this.

My art suffers greatly in the Winter. The last time I drew anything was a sketch for a personal project. It was the cover to a collaborative sketch book that I’m trading with my best friend. Every year it’s a vicious cycle of playing catch up with all the ideas I’ve had throughout the Winter but haven’t been able to complete. I also feel as if I have to brush up on my skills because I’m out of practice. Spring is a time of renewal/rebirth/starting over/anew, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t the kind of renewals that are intended.

However all this isn’t to say I’ve been completely unproductive. I’ve been able to be more active with on-line art communities. I’ve also been taking advantage of sitting on my ass in front of the space heater to get alot of sewing done. I’ve been making arm warmers, wrist bands, alternative styled knit hats for babies/toddlers, and pouches/bags. Sewing is still difficult, the numbing makes me very fumbly, but it’s doable and not as disappointing/frustrating as not being able to draw. Pictures of my current crafting aren’t up because I’m doing an assembly line style production, (as my boyfriend references it), of crafting. I make the items–as many as I feel possible, and then the next day(s) I’ll accessorize/decorate them. My goal today is to make a mess of my living room with all my fancy beads, laces, and doodads to do just that. So pictures should be posted in the next day or so.